End 39

My life is unstable.

Reminiscing the old times is not good for my health or my sanity. I’m having roller coaster of emotional today. And when the past starts to haunt? The roller coaster goes faster in twisted way. I have gotten myself a message few hours back.

A message that I felt honoured to be the recipient. Grateful to have a friend who takes me in such ways. But I read it with no feelings. None at all. Why? Because I’m badly hurt. Even with all the happiness around me. You make me cry. And I don’t cry often. You know if I cry then it’s bad.

The trouble you had. The tears you shed.

I was there for you. You come looking for me. But when you’re happy? Where do I stand? At the bottom of your list I supposed. It’s hard for me to live without my best friend. It’s hard for me that I have no one to share my worries. You know that I don’t like being like this. But you kept pushing me towards it.

Yes. I’m not your girlfriend. I have no rights or whatsoever over you. But what happen to your promise that nothing will change? You did change. Changes that I don’t even know how to adapt. I have no idea why. Maybe your girlfriend say something. Or maybe it’s my fault. Who knows? yet, I’m not going to try and find it out because I’m done babe.

Promises.

I hope that whatever reason it is you’re doing this to me better be worth it. And please don’t say that I’m at the highest level in your life. It’s a lie and you know it.

Till then,

Take care.