Degree 133

20th June 2011.

My grandfather @ Aki passed away. After 77 years of joyful life, a motorcycle accident took his life away. It was sudden. It was a shocked. The way he died was almost like my grandmother @ Wan. She was also in a motorcycle accident 5 years ago. And what makes it more sad was she died when it is a month away from Ramadhan. 

When people are busy celebrating Father's Day, my Ibu and her siblings lost their father. My Aki has been sick ever since my Wan passed away. But not really sick to the extend he may not make it. We would never have thought that Aki will die this way.

It was a good day last Sunday. The day started out beautifully. I took the day off. All f my siblings are at home. My cousins were there too. Ayah Ibu also. But it doesn't last long when Ibu got a called that Aki had an accident was unconscious. Ayah Ibu went back to kampung first. Few laters after that Ibu texted that we have to get ready to go back too.

I'm usually good at handling bad news. But not this time. In the hours of waiting I cleaned my bathroom to keep my mind occupied. And my stomach was having butterflies all the way to the hospital. Soon as we reach our destination, we went up to the ward. Upon seeing my Aki, my heart dropped. His face was all bandage up. With a tube coming out his nostrils. I later learned that it was to drain the blood in his brain. I remembered the first thing that come to mind was I assume he was sleeping. Then I was updated by one my cousin saying that the doctor have tried all that they can do and now he is only breathing because of the machine.

The doctor asked my uncle whether we want to continue the support or not. But of course my uncle cannot make that decision. He has to wait for his other brothers and sister. I didn't stay long in the ward. There is too many of my cousins who visits Aki.

The next day, I didn't go to the hospital. I was on babysitter duty. I was to wait for news back at the hotel. And around noon, I received a text from Ayah. Simple but meaning delivered. Aki passed away. I read the text and suddenly feeling lost. Should I cry or should I not? If I did, it will make it seems too real. And if I did not, people will think I'm cold. 

The whole day passed by. The funeral went smoothly. According to Kakak, yesterday was an eerie one because for her its like relieving Wan's funeral. The rain. The timing. The people. All of it. This coming days are going to be different. Life will be different for us. We no longer have grandparents that will pamper us. 

To my Aki, 

You will be missed. 

You will always be in my thoughts and prayers. 

ps: thanks for the dinner. thanks for the company. thanks for the laugh.

pps: thanks for the sweet thoughts. thanks for the care. thanks for just being there.